Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Until very recently, Annelien was in a loving, committed relationship with her iPhone. Then, all of a sudden, things turned sour. The iPhone (covered in a nice green skin that she bought on eBay) was sitting in her purse with a small bottle of water when she went to the public library at the Civic Center. As we discovered, an iPhone can get two drops of water and then it breaks down, forever. The relationship between Annelien and her iPhone ended in the worst possible way. They are not on speaking terms anymore. And now she also hates her in-laws at the Apple company, because they were so unforgiving and harsh about the two drops. Annelien asked me to be her divorce lawyer and since I am studying for the Bar exam, I felt sufficiently qualified to represent her in this delicate affair. The break-up was painful and yet, Annelien is in a much better place now. Life is worth living without the iPhone. She now has time to go on walks and talk to the neighbors. And no one breaks down when there is a drop of rain or two.

Wooden House

Until recently, Annelien assumed our downstairs neighbor had a very active sex life, especially during lunch time. When she worked from home, she would hear strange noises around noon. A lot of Ooohs! and Aaaaahs! would be audible from our apartment. We live in a wooden house that has 2 units. We live in the upstairs unit and our neighbor lives downstairs. We share a garden deck, a garage and a hot tub. And a lot of noise. San Francisco has a lot of wooden houses, so moving elsewhere is not really a good alternative and anyway, we really like the place where we live. However, I felt a bit uneasy when I heard about the neighbor’s lunch time activities. All that noise, every day. We were a bit surprised, because our neighbor doesn’t look like a womanizer. But after investigating the situation, we discovered that he has a pool table in his living room. He brings his friends over for lunch and they play pool and they yell “Oooh man!”, “Aaaah!”, “OMG!”.